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# The Only Edition

The Only Tabletop News Site

## Sitemaps

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## Posts

- [Solo RPG Player Forced to Live with Her Own Thoughts for a Little While](https://the-only-edition.com/solo-rpg-player-forced-to-live-with-her-own-thoughts-for-a-little-while/) - Nyah Harmon of Rochester, New York, sat down to play the Artefact journaling RPG, and was horrified to learn that she would be forced to sit in silence for a couple of hours in order to play the game. “I thought Artefact was going to be a nice way to play an RPG without having
- [OPINION: I Can Tame Him](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-i-can-tame-him/) - By Rashmiya Malsari, halfling ranger Aw, would you look at him? We should totally tame him! Can you imagine if we had something like him hanging out with us? I could ride him, or he could act as a guard dog. Guard beast. Guard thing? Whatever he is, I think I can tame him, and
- [Meteorologists Warn Mercer Effect may intensify Climate Change](https://the-only-edition.com/meteorologists-warn-mercer-effect-may-intensify-climate-change/) - Meteorologists warn that with the increased attention on Critical Role, the new Dimension 20 game The Ravening War, and the rising temperature of the earth, the Mercer Effect is likely to increase in strength and intensity. Scientists have gathered in Paris to discuss whether we may be reaching a point where we are unable to
- [Studies Show Gloomhaven is Complete Bullshit](https://the-only-edition.com/studies-show-gloomhaven-is-complete-bullshit/) - The Epic Game Store’s weekly free game offering has introduced hundreds of thousands of players to confirm what scientists have known for years: that Gloomhaven the boardgame is absolutely bullshit. Beryl Eaton, who just grabbed the free offering, was quick to learn the many ways in which Gloomhaven seeks to make you feel like an
- [D&D Streamers Forced to Merge Selves into WotC AI Product](https://the-only-edition.com/dd-streamers-forced-to-merge-selves-into-wotc-ai-product/) - Calling out for a mercy that would never be delivered, dozens of celebrity DMs had their minds and personalities forcibly merged into the Dungeon MasterMind, Hasbro's AI-based digital product for the newest edition of Dungeons & Dragons, during a Goldman Sachs conference webcast hosted by Hasbro CEO Chris Cocks. Cocks, who turned the machine on
- [Disappointing: No New War Criminals for Harrison Armory Mech Names](https://the-only-edition.com/disappointing-no-new-war-criminals-for-harrison-armory-mech-names/) - Lancers were disappointed to discover that in 2025 there were no new war criminals in the seat of the President of the United States for Harrison Armory to name one of their mechs after. Instead, there was an older, less shiny war criminal returning to office. Harrison Armory is well known for taking the names
- [Person with Internet Access wonders if there are any other Fantasy RPGs other than D&D](https://the-only-edition.com/person-with-internet-access-wonders-if-there-are-any-other-fantasy-rpgs-other-than-dd/) - Simon Knueppel, an adult human with access to the internet, recently wondered if there were any other RPGs besides Dungeons & Dragons. Knueppel, who has owned a smart phone since 2012, began to consider the possibility after a rough D&D session, which was de-railed after a random encounter led to a combat that lasted four
- [Dungeon Master in Therapy clarifies he has Inner Devils, not Inner Demons](https://the-only-edition.com/dungeon-master-in-therapy-clarifies-he-has-inner-devils-not-inner-demons/) - Lewis Hathaway, an interior designer and Dungeon Master, interrupted his therapist during their weekly session to correct her on her description of his inner demons. “Inner demons suggest that my struggles are chaotic, which I think we’ve spent a long time establishing is not the case. Inner devils would be a more accurate description of
- [Lovecraftian Campaign has no Cosmic Horror, just Racism](https://the-only-edition.com/lovecraftian-campaign-has-no-cosmic-horror-just-racism/) - Jean Artio decided to leave the horror game he had joined during the very first session, after realizing that the Game Master and other players were fans of H.P. Lovecraft, not his Cthulhu Mythos. “I was coming in expecting strange and unknowable monstrosities that our mortal minds could barely comprehend,” said Artio. “But instead the
- [Wizards of the Coast plans to Replace Customers with AI](https://the-only-edition.com/wizards-of-the-coast-plans-to-replace-customers-with-ai/) - Wizards of the Coast announced that it intended to fully embrace artificial intelligence, even to the extent of replacing their entire customer base. “We’ve approached the possibility of AI Dungeon Masters, tried to float out some AI generated artwork, but we realized we were thinking too small,” said Rob Gorman, spokesperson for the company. “Starting
- [WotC and Paizo forced to Use Movement to Backtrack for a Couple Turns](https://the-only-edition.com/wotc-and-paizo-forced-to-use-movement-to-backtrack-for-a-couple-turns/) - Tabletop RPG companies Paizo and Wizards of the Coast recently wasted several of their turns by making controversial decisions that then forced them to spend their movement to backtrack to where they had been before. “Wizards tends to do this a lot,” says their dungeon master. “It feels like we just went through this with
- [Paizo wins coveted "Better Website than Steve Jackson Games" Ennie Award](https://the-only-edition.com/paizo-wins-coveted-better-website-than-steve-jackson-games-ennie-award/) - Members of Paizo’s leadership took to the GenCon stage last weekend to accept the “Better Website than Steve Jackson Games” Ennie award. “This has been some time coming,” said Jason Bulmahn, holding the trophy above his head. “Everyone at Paizo has been holding our breath since we redesigned the website back in 2018. To finally
- [Biden urges voters to "Hikaru no Go to the Polls"](https://the-only-edition.com/biden-urges-voters-to-hikaru-no-go-to-the-polls/) - In an attempt to rally support after a controversial debate, President Biden held a press conference where he made an attempt to cater to the younger voting bloc and asked that they “Hikaru no Go to the polls this November.” Campaign officials say that the President came up with the slogan when coming across one
- [Highest 2024 D&D Preorder Tier Includes Player's Handbook With Real Rules That Prove You Are Right](https://the-only-edition.com/highest-2024-dd-preorder-tier-includes-players-handbook-with-real-rules-that-prove-you-are-right/) - Wizards of the Coast confirmed today that the price tiers of the 2024 core rule book preorders includes a secret "Adamant Master of the Weave" level where you can order "the real rules for the 2024 edition of Dungeons & Dragons" that let you prove to everyone else you play with that your understanding and
- [CDC Renews Quarantine Guidelines for 5th Edition Rules after release of Doctors and Daleks](https://the-only-edition.com/cdc-renews-quarantine-guidelines-for-5th-edition-rules-after-release-of-doctors-and-daleks/) - The Center for Disease Control has called for further restrictions on game design and RPG conventions in the aftermath of the release of Doctors and Daleks, the new Doctor Who RPG from Cubicle 7. “With this new outbreak of 5th edition rules, we believe it is in the best interest of the nation and the
- [The Only Edition is now Pay What You Want, so Essentially Nothing has Changed](https://the-only-edition.com/the-only-edition-is-now-pay-what-you-want-so-essentially-nothing-has-changed/) - Since The Only Edition has risen from the ashes of The Only Plus streaming service, we have strived to regain the attention and trust of our readership. And over the past five months, I believe we have done that. What we have not done is remember to charge you for the privilege of reading our
- [Dungeon Master able to enjoy D&D Movie after Stick Removed from Ass](https://the-only-edition.com/dungeon-master-enjoys-dd-movie-after-stick-removed-from-ass/) - Doctors report that Manhattan, Kansas, Dungeon Master Leif Nelson has successfully undergone surgery to remove the stick in his ass in order to have a good time at the Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves movie. After the grueling eight hour procedure, doctors believe Nelson will be able to engage with any D&D-related property without
- [Satirical News Sites Rejoice as USA enters Election Year](https://the-only-edition.com/satirical-news-sites-rejoice-as-usa-enters-election-year/) - Satirical news sites across the United States entered 2024 with joy in their hearts as the Presidential election season officially started. The Republican Iowa Caucus and New Hampshire Primary have already provided plenty of shakeups to the Republican lineup of candidates to lose to Donald Trump, and even more opportunities for parody sites to get
- [OOC: Dance Dance Revolution Groove Radar Rating for NPCs](https://the-only-edition.com/ooc-dance-dance-revolution-groove-radar-rating-for-npcs/) - In a recent episode of the Stop, Hack, and Roll podcast, hosts Brandon and James discussed using the Dance Dance Revolution Groove Radar as a replacement for the standard six-stat set for player characters. I’ll admit, I almost immediately stopped paying attention to what they actually said about it, because I begant to think about
- [Artist Debates Living Wage against People Online Liking him More](https://the-only-edition.com/artist-debates-living-wage-against-people-online-liking-him-more/) - Artist Paul Hanaoka has been arguing with himself for the past several weeks about whether he should raise his prices in order to maintain a living wage for himself, or to lower them so that people will stop bothering him online. “I make most of my money through commissions, and my prices have been set
- [Wizards of the Coast unveils new D&D Battle Pass Monetization](https://the-only-edition.com/wizards-of-the-coast-unveils-new-dd-battle-pass-monetization/) - Wizards of the Coast has begun to move forward with new revenue streams for the Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game was deemed "under monetized." Their first initiative was unveiled this week as they introduced a seasonal battle pass with its own proprietary leveling and reward system. “We believe that this new stage of Dungeons and
- [Man Gouges Eye Out so he can't Look at Cool D&D Art](https://the-only-edition.com/man-gouges-eye-out-so-he-cant-look-at-cool-dd-art/) - Emergency medical professionals were called to the home of Daniel Ritter, who had just gouged one of his eyes out so that he wouldn’t be able to look at the new D&D art being teased for the 2024 remaster. According to the EMTs who responded to the scene, Ritter was writhing on the ground as
- [Fantasy Missionary practices his Brandon Sanderson Evangelism in the Mirror](https://the-only-edition.com/fantasy-missionary-practices-his-brandon-sanderson-evangelism-in-the-mirror/) - Oh, you do like fantasy? What do you read, J.R.R. Tolkein, C.S. Lewis, George R.R. Martin? Fine authors in their own right. But Tolkein and Lewis are the authors of yesteryear. Sanderson is an author for the twenty-first century. And A Song of Ice and Fire? More like A Song Interrupted by HBO Producer Credits,
- [Drow OPINION: Necromancy is More Ethical than Slavery (and cheaper)](https://the-only-edition.com/drow-opinion-necromancy-is-more-ethical-than-slavery-and-cheaper/) - By Jhanbrina, Firstdaughter of House Mizzrym Mothers and sisters of Menzoberranzan, please restrain yourselves from attempting to assassinate me when I propose that we abolish slavery in the Underdark. I understand your distaste at my suggestion, but I believe that I can prove that slavery is a blight on our society, even as it appears
- [Group of adults cheer at 5% Possibility happening several times in a row](https://the-only-edition.com/group-of-adults-cheer-at-5-possibility-happening-several-times-in-a-row/) - Cheers echoed through the dorms of Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kansas, when Kimmari Wright rolled a die and landed on the side marked 20. Other players whooped and clapped him on the back for successfully rolling the die in a manner where the most advantageous side was upright. “Nat 20!” they cried, as if
- [OOC: It's Better to Understand the Game than to Memorize It](https://the-only-edition.com/ooc-its-better-to-understand-the-game-than-to-memorize-it/) - Nothing kills the flow of a session more than having to crack open the rulebook to make sure you got a rule right. When I first started GMing, I inevitably went flipping through pages, getting more and more flustered at the slightest thing going wrong while my players awkwardly waited around for me to come
- [Sea Levels Rise as Starfinder Players Salivate at thought of Second Edition](https://the-only-edition.com/sea-levels-rise-as-starfinder-players-salivate-at-thought-of-second-edition/) - Climate scientists have sounded the alarm as sea levels rose once again in response to Paizo teasing the Starfinder Second Edition Playtest due in August. “Every year, we have to come out and tell the people of the world that we’ve shot past our temperature goals once again, but this time it’s even more dire,”
- [PSA: Do NOT google "Donald Trump Rule 34 Felony Count"](https://the-only-edition.com/psa-do-not-google-donald-trump-rule-34-felony-count/) - Donald Trump, 45th President of the United States was found guilty on Thursday of 34 felony counts of falsifying business records. A judge will make a ruling on the sentence former President Trump will face, but we at The Only Edition must stress that you never google the words “President Donald Trump Rule 34 Felony
- [Nobody can hear a word the Whisper is saying in this Blades in the Dark game](https://the-only-edition.com/nobody-can-hear-a-word-the-whisper-is-saying-in-this-blades-in-the-dark-game/) - A group of Syracuse, New York, residents have been enjoying a game of Blades in the dark for the most part, if it weren’t for the fact that none of them can hear a single thing that their Whisper is saying. “It started as a joke, I think,” says Brandon Hurley, the group’s GM. “Sarah
- [Gamemaster Stalls as she opens up Fantasy Name Generator](https://the-only-edition.com/gamemaster-stalls-as-she-opens-up-fantasy-name-generator/) - Alright, so just to be clear, right after you ask this street vendor what he thinks about the local guard, you want to know his name? Well, he looks at you askance, kind of sizing you up. He’s a thick-set man, looks like he knows how to use his hands for gutting fish and maybe
- [Film School Graduates Finally Ready to Narrate Actual Play Podcasts](https://the-only-edition.com/film-school-graduates-finally-ready-to-narrate-actual-play-podcasts/) - Rudy Mittner was one of the many film school graduates walking the stage last weekend at UCLA who are now ready to provide the best possible narration of a tabletop actual play podcast. Speaking after the ceremony, Mittner said, “It was a lot of work, it was a lot of debt, but I think I’m
- [Games Workshop Abolishes Gender just to be Done with it All](https://the-only-edition.com/games-workshop-abolishes-gender-just-to-be-done-with-it-all/) - An absolutely normal amount of discussion has been occurred on the internet in the days since Games Workshop declared that there have always been female Custodians. Hordes of 40K fans who were this close to take a break from watching YouTube lore recaps and buy their first set of space marines have declared coed barracks
- [Wizard OPINION: Please, dear gods, Just let me Loot a Spellbook](https://the-only-edition.com/wizard-opinion-please-dear-gods-just-let-me-find-a-spellbook/) - Opinion by Balthazar Raddenzak I have been an adventurer now for several months, and an accomplished wizard for many years before. I spent countless hours late in the night devoted to my study of the arcane arts, slowly filling my personal tome with the spells that my mind could hold in place while under the
- [Police searching for Kobold Press social media manager after "obscene" Thirst Tweet](https://the-only-edition.com/police-manhunt-on-for-kobold-press-social-media-manager-after-obscene-thirst-tweet/) - Police are asking for anyone to provide information on the whereabouts of the social media manager of the Kobold Press publishing company. In a press conference hosted by spokesman Captain Volodymyr Hryshchenko, he said, “On April 19th, at two in the afternoon, the Kobold Press X account quote xeeted a picture of a giant worm
- [Catan publisher Asmodee trying to figure out how the Robber put them €900 million in debt](https://the-only-edition.com/catan-publisher-asmodee-trying-to-figure-out-how-the-robber-put-them-e900-million-in-debt/) - Settlers of Catan board game publisher Asmodee has been left scratching their heads after the Robber somehow saddled them with over €900 million of debt. “Normally The Robber is content to take a single resource, but his most recent caper has left us with an enormous deficit,” says Asmodee. The newly independent Asmodee has said
- [Solar Eclipse briefly sates RPG Designers' desire to Blot out the Sun](https://the-only-edition.com/solar-eclipse-only-briefly-sates-rpg-designers-desire-to-blot-out-the-sun/) - While many North Americans were intrigued and delighted by Monday’s solar eclipse, RPG designers looked forward to it more than anyone else. The natural urge of those who create tabletop settings to tamper with celestial bodies is almost overpowering, and many gathered along the path of totality to watch as the sun was engulfed. When
- ["Trouble in Pairs-adise": An Interview with the Axe](https://the-only-edition.com/trouble-in-pairs-adise-an-interview-with-the-axe/) - The Magic: The Gathering community has been in a fervor over the realization that artist Fay Dalton had plagiarized from at least three other artist in the creation of the "Trouble in Pairs" card for the Murders at Karlov Manor set. The Only Edition was unable to reach Dalton for comment, but was able to
- [Brave RPG Podcaster won't let the Rules get in the way of the Story](https://the-only-edition.com/brave-actual-play-podcaster-wont-let-the-rules-get-in-the-way-of-the-story/) - Chase Hampton, host of Dungeons & Dragons actual play podcast Drinks & Drunks, bravely announced that he would not let rules get in the way of the story. “We understand that when people are looking for an actual play podcast, they’re looking for a well-crafted three-act structure. Rules like grappling, spell preparation, or rolling dice
- [Vampire Also Not Being Sold, Announces Renegade Studios To Back of Wizards' Press Conference](https://the-only-edition.com/vampire-also-not-being-sold-announces-renegade-studios-to-back-of-wizards-press-conference/) - The Vampire: The Masquerade IP was not being purchased by Tencent,President of Renegade Game Studios Scott Gaeta said to a large group ofreporters last month, all of who had their backs turned to him as they paidattention to Wizards of the Coast representatives discussing the rumorsof the Chinese multimedia conglomerate purchasing Dungeons & Dragons. "As
- [Game Master Can't Wait to Turn Down this Music Playlist she's Curating](https://the-only-edition.com/game-master-cant-wait-to-turn-down-this-music-playlist-shes-curating/) - Game Master Veronica Nguyen has spent the past several hours crafting a music playlist that she knows full well she’ll have to turn down once the group actually starts to play. “Putting together a good playlist takes a lot of work,” says Nguyen. “Not everyone can choose a song that sounds ambient at first, but
- [Blades in the Dark GM realizes he was supposed to be drawing CLOCKS](https://the-only-edition.com/blades-in-the-dark-gm-realizes-he-was-supposed-to-be-drawing-clocks/) - “This is incredibly embarrassing,” was all that Martin Corey could say when he realized that he was supposed to be drawing clocks to keep track of players’ progress. “I’ve been drawing cocks this whole time.” Since starting Blades in the Dark with his regular group, he’s had fun with the game, but the requirement to
- [Woman can't make up Her Mind at DriveThruRPG](https://the-only-edition.com/woman-cant-make-up-her-mind-at-drivethrurpg/) - Uh, hi, just give me a minute. What do you guys have on sale right now? Yeah, I know about the daily sale, I’ve never really heard about it. I mean, I’ll click on it, but won’t really read about it. No, I’m talking about the sale you’ve had all week, and I’ve come to
- [New Service Offers Players for Hire to Lonely GMs](https://the-only-edition.com/new-service-offers-players-for-hire-to-lonely-gms/) - A new website, AndMyAxe.com, will be offering a long sought-after service later this year: players for hire. With a marketplace already dominated by rentable GMs, the website’s creators found it was “surprisingly easy to make money” by renting out much needed players to GMs. We were able to reach several satisfied customers for comment. “I’ve
- [Cradle Kickstarter will Never Amount to Anything, Village Elders say](https://the-only-edition.com/cradle-kickstarter-will-never-amount-to-anything-village-elders-say/) - People around the village have been muttering to one another as they watch the Cradle book series prepare for the beginning of its animation Kickstarter, knowing that it has no chance at all of reaching its goal. For years, various tradesman, farmers, and scholars have watched Cradle as it continues to train, and then shook
- [Court Declares Murderous Paladin Lawfully Stupid](https://the-only-edition.com/court-declares-murderous-paladin-lawfully-stupid/) - Two weeks of criminal court proceedings against Alyxander Law, the paladin responsible for multiple murders, ended as a judge gave a reduced sentence because of Law’s limited mental capacity. In his statement, the judge said, “Our hearts go out to the family of Firb the goblin merchant, an unnamed henchman tortured to death, and those
- [Supposed RPG Connoisseur sure did play a lot of D&D Last Year](https://the-only-edition.com/supposed-rpg-connoisseur-sure-did-play-a-lot-of-dd-last-year/) - While St. Louis, MO, resident Neil Larson claims to be a discerning RPG reader and collector, a review of his play in the past year reveals a disturbing amount of Dungeons & Dragons. Friends and family say that while Larson frequently references multiple games and systems when he talks about RPGs, he continues to run
- [RPG Industry Celebrates being big enough to make Sweeping Layoffs](https://the-only-edition.com/rpg-industry-celebrates-being-big-enough-to-make-sweeping-layoffs/) - Members of the tabletop roleplaying game industry rejoiced this week that the RPG market has grown to a size that can allow for sizeable layoffs to appease the will of shareholders. “We were wistfully watching the downsizing of video games companies like Unity and Epic,” says Charlie Skinner, one of the recently laid off employees.
- [D&D Player tries to decipher Exotic Pathfinder 2e System](https://the-only-edition.com/dd-player-tries-to-decipher-exotic-pathfinder-2e-system/) - Levi Brown has been playing Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition for several years now, and is just starting to dip their toes into the strange and terrifying world of Pathfinder’s Second Edition. “With whatever OneD&D is going to turn out to be coming down the line, I thought I might as well see what other
- [OOC: In Fear of Fate's Blank Canvas](https://the-only-edition.com/ooc-in-fear-of-fates-blank-canvas/) - This article started off very differently. Originally, I was going to write about why I thought Fate wasn’t a more popular system, and my argument was because there were so many ways to do one thing, that it could turn people off of the system in favor of one that had concrete rules for specific
- [Man can't find his Enormous Bag of Cheap Dice](https://the-only-edition.com/man-cant-find-his-enormous-bag-of-cheap-dice/) - Andrew Neel of Dodge City, Kansas, has been looking everywhere for that big bag of dice he bought on Amazon almost a decade ago. “I could have sworn I packed it in with the board games,” he said, peering into a cupboard without actually moving anything. “Maybe I put it in the closet after we
- [John Harper Pardons the Thanksgiving Weasel](https://the-only-edition.com/john-harper-pardons-the-thanksgiving-weasel/) - With Thanksgiving just around the corner, Blades in the Dark fans gathered around to watch John Harper pardon one of the weasels meant to be slaughtered for their crimes against narrative-driven gameplay. Harper addressed the sizeable crowd outside of the palatial One Seven Design mansion. “When I heard about what a little weasel this guy
- [Biden Railroad Plan Allocates Billions to the Illusion of Choice](https://the-only-edition.com/biden-railroad-plan-allocates-billions-to-the-illusion-of-choice/) - President Biden’s administration has announced $16.4 billion as part of his campaign to make it look like America’s rail infrastructure has more options than it actually does. In a news brief from the White House, they declared, “President Biden’s investments will bolster our infrastructure, give more jobs to Americans, and foster a greater false sense
- [Slide accidentally Flashbacks to being Rejected by High School Crush](https://the-only-edition.com/slide-accidentally-flashbacks-to-being-rejected-by-high-school-crush/) - While Slides normally have a reputation as master manipulators of the human psyche, Nasha Night of the Six-Tower Sinners put that reputation to the test when she accidentally flashed back to her more awkward days in high school. Reportedly she and her crew were in the middle of a tense meeting between feuding members of
- [Second Lancer Physical Print Promises even more Lore that Won’t Help you Run a Game](https://the-only-edition.com/second-lancer-physical-print-promises-even-more-lore-that-wont-help-you-run-a-game/) - Mech fans are cheering because Lancer is finally getting a second-print run, and Massif Press have promised that there will be roughly twenty extra pages of lore that won’t really help you run a game any better. “We want players to know that this is a hopeful game with a post-scarcity society reckoning with its
- [Best RPG Ever Created Hidden Somewhere in an Itch.io Bundle](https://the-only-edition.com/best-rpg-ever-created-hidden-somewhere-in-an-itch-io-bundle/) - Reports have confirmed that the best RPG ever created is currently sitting somewhere in an itch.io charity bundle you bought. It’s not clear if it’s the one you bought a few years ago or just a couple of days ago, but it’s buried in there somewhere. Several sources are aware you downloaded all the big
- [OPINION: We Need World Peace in order to play Twilight: 2000 with a Clear Conscience](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-we-need-world-peace-in-order-to-play-twilight-2000-with-a-clear-conscience/) - As violence erupts in Israel and Palestine, and the Russian invasion of Ukraine continues to grind on, it is finally time to push for world peace so that we can all sit down and play Twilight: 2000 without feeling like we’re reenacting world events. The right to roleplay as combatants in a world-shaking conflict should
- [George R.R. Martin Pull Quote Only Text on Fantasy Book Cover](https://the-only-edition.com/george-r-r-martin-pull-quote-only-text-on-fantasy-book-cover/) - Fantasy enthusiasts are still trying to figure out the name and author of a new novel announced by Tor which appears to only have a pull quote from George R.R. Martin on the cover. “Fantasy as it was meant to be written” covers the entirety of the front cover, with attribution to the Song of
- [Senator John Fetterman Accused of Using a Simulacrum](https://the-only-edition.com/senator-john-fetterman-accused-of-using-a-simulacrum/) - Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman has made several improvements to his life since suffering a stroke last year, and some suspect the towering congressman has used the mystical arts of the simulacrum spell to achieve this. The theory began to gain traction after the realization that a body double for six foot eight inches tall Fetterman
- [D&D Podcaster Absolutely Hates Playing Dungeons & Dragons](https://the-only-edition.com/dd-podcaster-absolutely-hates-playing-dungeons-dragons/) - Liam Niven, a player in the popular Dungeons & Dragons actual play podcast Drinks & Drunks, has announced that after five years of playing the game, he really hates it. “It started out fun, just getting together with some buddies and joking around, despite the problems I had with the system. But when it blew
- [Blades in the Dark party arrested for Grand Theft Auto](https://the-only-edition.com/blades-in-the-dark-party-arrested-for-grand-theft-auto/) - Nadia Zomorodi, Naomi Reinhold, Michael Roberts, and Phil Freeman were apprehended by Lexington, Kentucky, authorities Friday evening on multiple counts of burglary and theft, culminating in a high-speed chase through the downtown shopping center. Police have determined that Zomorodi was the ringleader and mastermind of the joy ride. Our own interview confirmed this, as Zomorodi
- [Perverted Agon Player declares Epithets with his Indoor Voice](https://the-only-edition.com/perverted-agon-player-declares-epithets-with-his-indoor-voice/) - Soft-spoken Allen Shaw was almost kicked out of his tabletop group last Friday when he refused to shout out his name and epithets as he played Agon. Strife player Bianca Esposito says that everyone had seemed like they were on board for the game, but that was obviously not the case. She says, “Allen went
- [An Open Letter to Evil Hat Productions: "Please give me a Color Illustration"](https://the-only-edition.com/an-open-letter-to-evil-hat-productions-please-give-me-a-color-illustration/) - To Fred Hicks, or anyone at Evil Hat Games that has any kind of pull, My name is Landon. You might remember my modeling work in the Fate Core book from 2013. Congrats on ten years of Fate! I’m writing to you to ask that I might be given the opportunity to appear in color
- [D20 Wins Relaxing Salt Bath for Rolling So Well](https://the-only-edition.com/d20-wins-relaxing-salt-bath-for-rolling-so-well/) - D20, a die used in a weekly D&D 3.5 game, recently won a relaxing weekend at a salt bath for their exemplary performance over the course of the campaign. The die had only last session hit three natural 20s in a row, automatically killing the boss that had been set up over the course of
- [Baldur's Gate III Player keeps X-Card in Easy Reach](https://the-only-edition.com/baldurs-gate-iii-player-keeps-x-card-in-easy-reach/) - Theo Karr has been enjoying playing his playthrough of Baldur’s Gate II, but the sheer amount of sexual content has ensured that he keeps his X-card in easy reach. “Oh yeah, I’ve had to use it quite a bit already,” he said when we spoke to him this Monday. “I made a druid, and they
- [BARBARIAN OPINION: You Would be Angry Too if you Recognized the Injustices of this World](https://the-only-edition.com/barbarian-opinion-you-would-be-angry-too-if-you-recognized-the-injustices-of-this-world/) - It is known that I am a being prone to anger. But I believe that you would be just as filled with wrath if you saw the world and its atrocities as I do. I am angry at the evil I see, not only of the cultists and bandits and unspeakable things that wait in
- [Studies show that Major Life Changes just get in the way of a Perfectly Good Campaign](https://the-only-edition.com/studies-show-that-major-life-changes-just-get-in-the-way-of-a-perfectly-good-campaign/) - Scientists are spreading the word that major life changes such as getting married or moving across several states are in no way conducive to playing in your perfectly good campaign. Dr. Brian Letourneau, professor of Sociology at Illinois State, said, “You may be thinking that you are starting a new life with your loved one,
- [Pathfinder Remastered replaces the Gunslinger with all-new Radio Operator Class](https://the-only-edition.com/pathfinder-remastered-replaces-the-gunslinger-with-all-new-radio-operator-class/) - Paizo made several big announcements over the weekend at GenCon, from the upcoming Starfinder 2nd Edition to the reveal that the Gunslinger would be removed from the Pathfinder Remastered releases. Director of Game Design Jason Bulmahn said in the announcement, “I was looking at this Gunslinger, and I thought about how I would feel if
- [Forever DM awaits their Final Rest in the Heat Death of the Universe](https://the-only-edition.com/forever-dm-awaits-their-final-rest-in-the-heat-death-of-the-universe/) - Kai Grayson has been a dungeon master for countless eons, and now they await the heat death of the universe. They assumed the role of Forever DM after buying a copy of the D&D Adventure Game box in the 1990s. “I grabbed some nerdy friends, pulled out the pregens, and threw some monsters at them.
- [Fans Claim New Planescape Books Lack Accurate Lady Of Pain Image, Lost Youth and Innocence](https://the-only-edition.com/fans-claim-new-planescape-books-lack-accurate-lady-of-pain-image-lost-youth-and-innocence/) - Fans of the D&D second edition Planescape setting have been decrying possible changes to the Planescape setting that Wizards of the Coast have teased about the upcoming Planescape books, claiming that the books contain no images of the Lady of Pain as depicted in the second edition books, nor do they contain any ability to
- [Entire Lancer Session spent playing the Armored Core Trailers on loop](https://the-only-edition.com/entire-lancer-session-spent-playing-the-armored-core-trailers-on-loop/) - The entirety of Friday’s Lancer session in San Jose, California, was spent watching the new Armored Core story trailer on repeat. Game Master Aneta Pawlik said that everything else about the session was normal, except for the fact that no gameplay was completed. “We just kept dragging the progress bar back to the beginning. Every
- [OOC: An Interview with My Dungeon Master Brother who has Never Read a Rulebook](https://the-only-edition.com/ooc-an-interview-with-my-dungeon-master-brother-who-has-never-read-a-rulebook/) - This week, I sat down with my brother Knute to talk about how we both started playing RPGs in high school, and then went down very different paths after we got started. This is transcribed from pretty terrible audio, so if any changes in topic seem abrupt, assume that I cut out a lot of
- [Uh Oh. Your Least Favorite Coworker Also Plays Dungeons & Dragons](https://the-only-edition.com/uh-oh-your-least-favorite-coworker-also-plays-dungeons-dragons/) - Oh god. Gerry just found out you play Dungeons & Dragons. How did he find out? Apparently you mentioned it last week over lunch to Linda, and now it’s worked its way to goddamned loud-chewer Gerry. Well, it turns out he plays too, and that means you’ve got an hour tops before he comes over
- [IRS Agents Investigate Ironsworn Players for 'Pay the Price' Evasion](https://the-only-edition.com/irs-agents-investigate-ironsworn-players-for-pay-the-price-evasion/) - Tax season has been over with for several months for most Americans, but the agents of the Internal Revenue Service are still hard at work going after the many people who try to slip though the cracks of the US tax code. Among those added to the list in recent years are Ironsworn players who
- [Game Master Eyewitness unable to Directly Describe Anything that Happened](https://the-only-edition.com/game-master-eyewitness-unable-to-directly-describe-anything-that-happened/) - A crime may or may not have been committed today in downtown Boise, Idaho. We were alerted to the possible crime on our tip line by Adrian Swancar, local nurse and game master, where he indirectly hinted at what might have happened. According to Swancar, a somewhat suspicious man appeared to have taken off in
- [Mörk Borg Players Implore for More Gore](https://the-only-edition.com/mork-borg-players-implore-for-more-gore/) - Johan Nohr of Mörk Borg offered us a tour of their store as scores of bores implored for more gore from the metal-core publisher. A corps of players have sworn for war if their demands for vore are not met. Thor Moore of Alvadore, Oregon, spoke with rancor, “Neither orcs, dinosaurs, nor manticores have given
- [Dread Lord Reveals the Secrets of his Jacked Bod](https://the-only-edition.com/dread-lord-reveals-the-secrets-of-his-jacked-bod/) - Dread Lord Valgrith may be known best for the conquest of Belyria, the razing of the Crystalline Libraries, or the murder of Khorzac, god of the dead. But he is also known for his intensely rippling abs and bulging forearms. We spoke with Valgrith in his home gym to discover what makes the Dread Lord
- [Fate Games put on hold as Writers Rooms Strike](https://the-only-edition.com/fate-games-put-on-hold-as-writers-rooms-strike/) - Members of the Writers Guild of America have been striking for the past week, and look to continue for the foreseeable future. Among their demands are increased pay for streaming entertainment, restrictions on the use of AI, and not being tricked into thinking they’re just going to play a game of Fate. “Unfortunately, it’s a
- [WotC Responds to OneD&D Warlock Design Complaints: "It’s This Or Pinkertons"](https://the-only-edition.com/wotc-responds-to-onedd-warlock-design-complaints-its-this-or-pinkertons/) - SEATTLE--In an official response from Wizards of the Coast, the company’s OneD&D team said that the proposed changes to the Warlock class will remain in place until people stop protesting the company’s employment of Pinkerton agents to retrieve as-yet unreleased Magic: the Gathering cards from YouTuber Dan Cannon, who allegedly received the cards by mistake.
- [Kanye West angrily Asks his Blades in the Dark players How they Sway](https://the-only-edition.com/kanye-west-angrily-asks-his-blades-in-the-dark-players-how-they-sway/) - Reports say Kanye had another one of his famous outbursts at last week’s Blades in the Dark session. A player in the game attests that he had said he was going to Sway an archivist holding important information about Lord Scurlock. When the player immediately went to roll, West exploded. “I know that ain’t how
- [OPINION: The Best Pathfinder Build is a Coward GM](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-the-best-pathfinder-build-is-a-coward-gm/) - Coming from D&D 3.5, PF1e, and now Pathfinder 2e, I used to spend hours theory-crafting the best builds and multiclasses that would ensure effectiveness and survivability. I now realize that that time was wasted, when all it really takes is a game master who is too much of a coward to kill your PC. I’ll
- [How to Care for a Heart Attack after Revealing your True Class](https://the-only-edition.com/how-to-care-for-a-heart-attack-after-revealing-your-true-class/) - If you believe someone is having a heart attack after you have revealed that your character is not a paladin, but actually a Hexblade warlock, take these steps to ensure that they will survive long enough for you to explain why you thought this was a good idea. Symptoms include cold sweat, nausea, numbness, and
- [Dungeon Master can't Wait to see what Color Robes the Commissioned Artist will put him in](https://the-only-edition.com/dungeon-master-cant-wait-to-see-what-color-robes-the-commissioned-artist-will-put-him-in/) - Dungeon Master Eric Nyman has finally finished a campaign with his group of friends, and can’t wait to see the color of robes the artist they’re commissioning will put him in. “It’s definitely going to be a dark color, because as the DM I’m an insidious force out to antagonize the players. Sure, I may
- ["Ooh, let's be bad," Microscope player says before Breaking the Rules](https://the-only-edition.com/ooh-lets-be-bad-microscope-player-says-before-breaking-the-rules/) - People playing a Microscope game over brunch were heard saying “let’s be bad,” as they began to break the rules of the history-building RPG. “We’ve had a rough week!” Elizabeth Nelson said loudly. “I just finished up a month-long assignment, and Nadine’s boss has been a super dick, so we’re treating ourself and playing a
- [GM forgets that she's Playing Both Characters in a Conversation](https://the-only-edition.com/gm-forgets-that-shes-playing-both-characters-in-a-conversation/) - Players were left waiting for Dungeon Master Stacia Cromwell to realize that she was waiting for a response from herself during last night’s game. We were first alerted to the situation when Haley Baker, one of the players, was able to quietly excuse herself to the bathroom. “This all started when we were getting a
- [Health officials urge Goblins to drink Health Potions Before they Die](https://the-only-edition.com/health-officials-urge-goblins-to-drink-health-potions-before-they-die/) - Goblin Doctors are leading an initiative to make goblins drink their health potions sooner rather than later when they’re all dead. Dr. Likspit of John’s Hop Caves has conducted studies that suggest drinking health potions in the middle of a combat can extend goblin lives by at least a few turns, and even years if
- [OOC: The Freedom Found in Adventure Modules](https://the-only-edition.com/ooc-the-freedom-found-in-adventure-modules/) - OOC is where the writers of The Only Edition are allowed to be earnest for once. There is often a dichotomy presented when GMing. Either a GM has a set story they wish to tell, or they are able to go with the flow and roll with the punches the players hand them. The railroad
- [Huh, I guess Everyone stayed on Discord after the Session Ended](https://the-only-edition.com/huh-i-guess-everyone-stayed-on-discord-after-the-session-ended/) - That’s weird. The session ended like 20 minutes ago, but it looks like everyone is still on after I said goodbye. There was a flurry of goodbyes, and I dropped off to go eat, but I guess everyone else is still chatting? That’s okay, I thought things were winding down, but apparently not. I really
- ['The Young and the Restless' GM fires Players, says he'll Play Solo.](https://the-only-edition.com/the-young-and-the-restless-gm-fires-players-says-hell-play-solo/) - Fans of long-running Pasión de las Pasiones (Whitehack edition) Actual Play The Young and the Restless were shocked to discover that GM Josh Griffith has fired the five other players that made up the show. Griffith says that getting rid of the players is a cost-cutting move, and he will continue to play their characters
- [Paizo announces new Pathfinder SUV](https://the-only-edition.com/paizo-announces-new-pathfinder-suv/) - Hot on the heels of Paizo selling out of the 2023 printing of their Pathfinder 2nd edition core rulebook, the Redmond-based company has announced a release date for their 2024 Pathfinder Sedan. “With the influx of cash thanks to the Open Gaming License debacle, we have been able to secure a plant in Michigan in
- [Super Bowl Ends with Argument over Grappling Rules](https://the-only-edition.com/super-bowl-end-with-argument-over-grappling-rules/) - Sunday night’s Super Bowl Championship game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles ended in controversy as players began to argue over the grappling rules. 113 million viewers watched as players opened up their rulebooks to debate whether Eagles cornerback James Bradberry had incurred a holding penalty against Chiefs wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster,
- [OPINION: I Will Kill a Thousand Humans Before I Cut Down a Tree](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-i-will-kill-a-thousand-humans-before-i-cut-down-a-tree/) - By Eluriah Galanodel, an elven druid I truly can’t believe we have to go over this once again. As a druid, I believe all life is sacred. That is why I will kill any and all loggers, hunters, or trappers who may enter the woods to despoil it. The damage against Mother Nature that will
- [Lancer Core Book inexplicably lists 27 Mechs after the Perfect Blackbeard](https://the-only-edition.com/lancer-core-book-inexplicably-list-28-mechs-after-the-perfect-blackbeard/) - While Lancer has dominated the mech RPG space since 2019, no one at Massif Press has been able to explain why they have filled the game with so many frames when the Blackbeard is obviously the only one that could possibly be needed. While there are arguments to be made that there at least needs
- [WotC Press Release: I'm Sorry You had a Bad Dream!](https://the-only-edition.com/wotc-press-release-im-sorry-you-had-a-bad-dream/) - Whoah, whoah, hey there buddy. You were rolling around and yelling out in your sleep like you were having a nightmare or something. The Open Gaming License? Deauthorization? Revenue cuts? Slow down there, take a deep breath. Let’s just talk it out. Now, from the sound of it, your dream was about less of a
- [Travis Willingham Achieves Enlightenment during Critical Role Shopping Session](https://the-only-edition.com/travis-willingham-achieves-enlightenment-during-critical-role-shopping-session/) - Popular D&D streaming show Critical Role has had to put episodes on hold after Travis Willingham, CEO of the production, ascended to a higher plane of being during a shopping episode. Viewers and crew were surprised to see Willingham’s body become stiff as a bright light began to emanate from his mouth and eyes. Fellow
- [Four Wounded in Savage Worlds Dice Explosion](https://the-only-edition.com/four-wounded-in-savage-worlds-dice-explosion/) - The quiet town of Gilberts, Illinois, was rocked by shattered glass and splintered wood as a pool of Savage Worlds dice exploded within a home. First responders came to the house to find four wounded after a particularly lucky shot by a villain of their game quickly expanded to ludicrous levels of damage. “We were
- [15 Tips to Prove your Product definitely isn't for D&D](https://the-only-edition.com/15-tips-to-prove-your-product-definitely-isnt-for-dd/) - With the upcoming changes to the OGL made by Wizards of the Coast, many third-party creators have announced that they are moving away from the 5th edition of the world’s only role-playing game. Several companies including Kobold Press, Paizo, and MCDM have reached out to The Only Edition to give 15 guidelines for making it
- [New OGL would give WotC Ownership of all MMO characters named Drizzt](https://the-only-edition.com/new-ogl-would-give-wotc-ownership-of-all-mmo-characters-named-drizzt/) - Leaks of the new Open Gaming License from Wizards of the Coast have caused an uproar in the D&D community. The proposed license would involve revenue cuts for Wizards of the Coast, nullify the open licenses of the past two decades, and most importantly grant permanent ownership of every MMO and video game character named
- [Winter X Games to feature Fate Stunt Writing Competition](https://the-only-edition.com/winter-x-games-to-feature-fate-stunt-writing-competition/) - Coordinators of the 2023 Winter X Games in Aspen, Colorado, have announced the long-anticipated inclusion of Stunt Writing as a competition. There will be three categories for Core, Accelerated, and Condensed, with one special freeform exhibition in games like Dresden Files, Spirit of the Century, and Mindjammer. “We are happy to finally bring this new
- [Man who hasn’t Talked to Grandma in Months completely Caught Up on Critical Role](https://the-only-edition.com/man-who-hasnt-talked-to-grandma-in-months-completely-caught-up-on-critical-role/) - Lee Harrelson of Sarasota, Washington, has completely caught up with the adventures of the popular actual play series Critical Role, even though he hasn’t spoken to his Grandma Valerie in seven months. “I discovered Critical Role sometime near the end of their second campaign, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to go back
- [<strong>Police Crack Down on GMs Burning Out after Games</strong>](https://the-only-edition.com/police-crack-down-on-gms-burning-out-after-games/) - California police are pushing for an initiative to stop the reckless practice of game master burning rubber in order to keep their games running smoothly. Governor Newsom said in an address last month, “These street races between game masters who have had stressful sessions need to be put to an end. What starts as a
- [Spotify Wrapped completely dominated by RPG Ambient Music](https://the-only-edition.com/spotify-wrapped-completely-dominated-by-rpg-ambient-music/) - Avid Spotify user Emily Miner opened her app last week to see the trends and statistics of her music-listening habits to discover that apparently she just listens to a bunch of ambient fantasy music. “This is really unfair,” she said through tears. “Just because I use Spotify to set the mood for my D&D game,
- [Lancer Player can't stop Laughing while Reading her Husband's Ransom Letter](https://the-only-edition.com/lancer-player-cant-stop-laughing-while-reading-her-husbands-ransom-letter/) - Albuquerque, New Mexico, resident Sarah Carson has reported her husband Andrew as kidnapped, though police are claiming that she is a lead suspect after finding her laughing uproariously over the ransom letter. Officer Mulaney, who was on the scene, said, “while we understand that grief can take many forms, it is highly suspicious to find
- [Union Soldier saved from musket ball by Starfinder Pocket Edition](https://the-only-edition.com/union-soldier-saved-from-musket-ball-by-starfinder-pocket-edition/) - Discovered among the library archives of the University of Washington. My Dear Elizabeth, I hope this letter finds you well, as I have made the most frightening discovery. Last night, several days after our previous engagement, as I sat down with the company for our weekly Starfinder diversions, I was horrified to find a Minie
- [New Headphones Block Out Your Friends Trying to Convince You to Play Pathfinder 2e](https://the-only-edition.com/new-headphones-block-out-your-friends-trying-to-convince-you-to-play-pathfinder-2e/) - Wizards of the Coast has been listening to its fans, and finally released a product to help them deal with unbalanced encounters and the general lack of player options. In a press conference, Lead Designer Jeremy Crawford said “In order to help with the general comparisons many tabletop enthusiasts are making these days, we have
- [Locals Suspicious of Adventurers Who Don’t Have the Same 5 Accents as Everyone Else](https://the-only-edition.com/locals-suspicious-of-adventurers-who-dont-have-the-same-5-accents-as-everyone-else/) - Villagers of Shadowvale have reported meetings with strangers in town with strange accents. Gorm Shagtooth the blacksmith says that he met with the adventurers when they were looking to upgrade their armor. “Mmm, they seemed like nice folk,” Shagtooth said, in that gruff reliable old-man-voice all men over forty have. “But then I realized they
- [Biden to Forgive up to $10,000 of Warhammer Miniatures](https://the-only-edition.com/biden-to-forgive-up-to-10000-of-warhammer-miniatures/) - On Wednesday, President Joe Biden announced a historic debt forgiveness plan that would refund up to $10,000 worth of wargaming miniatures. “In keeping with my campaign promise, my administration is announcing a plan to give working and middle class wargamers breathing room as they prepare for their next tournament.” The Biden administration clarified the forgiveness
- [OPINION: It is Entirely Unsafe to Wield Knives in Poorly Lit Conditions](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-it-is-entirely-unsafe-to-wield-blades-in-the-dark/) - by Sol Athanoch, a Nightmarket dog breeder Duskwall faces a scourge from within. In the past seven years we have seen a noted increase in crimes and gang activity. But as dangerous as these criminal elements can be to society, they are an even larger danger to themselves. Their reckless use of knives and other
- [Dungeon Master Completely Unprepared for his Players to Cooperate with the Authorities](https://the-only-edition.com/dungeon-master-completely-unprepared-for-his-players-to-cooperate-with-the-authorities/) - Dungeon Master Micah Ngoh had to call for a break when his players, seeing that they had perhaps broken the laws of the land, decided to go with the city guard peacefully. As Ngoh left the room to gather his thoughts, the players were talking excitedly about what might happen next. “When we killed those
- [fred hicks and leonard balsera broke my keyboard and made me promise to not capitalize fate](https://the-only-edition.com/fred-hicks-and-leonard-balsera-broke-my-keyboard-and-made-me-promise-to-not-capitalize-fate/) - last night fred hicks and leonard balsera of evil hat games met outside of my home with the express intent of destroying my keyboard. they had traveled separately, and each had hotel rooms and receipts as alibis prepared. at roughly three in the morning, they cut the phone lines. realizing this might not do much,
- [Dungeon Master Too Lazy to Fudge Rolls](https://the-only-edition.com/dungeon-master-too-lazy-to-fudge-rolls/) - Reports of shock and disgust abounded from the table of a Milwaukee, Wisconsin game of Dungeons & Dragons when Dungeon Master Harriet March revealed that she had been truthfully identifying the numbers and bonuses she rolled for monsters, rather than pretending to roll and just picking a number based on what she wanted. Several players
- [Liz Truss Quits DMing after 6 Sessions](https://the-only-edition.com/liz-truss-quits-dming-after-6-sessions/) - In the wake of Boris Johnson stepping down from his political intrigue campaign, former player Liz Truss said she would take over, but has apparently found the job too difficult to run more than 6 sessions. Players say that Truss tried to start her campaign strong by killing the queen of the country, but they
- [Barovia Prepares for Halloween One-Shot Tourism](https://the-only-edition.com/barovia-prepares-for-halloween-one-shot-tourism/) - Barovia is abuzz with preparations for the flood of one-shots that will be taking place in the demiplane of Ravenloft. Normally the mists that surround Barovia are unpredictably fickle as they pluck unwitting denizens of other planes to be brought to Strahd’s domain, but in October the mists give way as dungeon masters bring their
- [Dragonkid11 Face Reveal Breaks the Internet](https://the-only-edition.com/dragonkid11-face-reveal-breaks-the-internet/) - This past weekend, anonymous Lancer, Girls’ Frontline, and Flying Circus YouTuber Dragonkid11 finally revealed their true form. For years, the sultry-voiced trashtalker has hidden behind the black and white illustration of a BattleTech DRG-1N “Dragon” BattleMech. In the video, Dragonkid11 destroyed the paper illustration with a salvo of short-range Infernos from their Holly rack, revealing
- [Lizzo Loots Crystal Flute from Ancient Ruler’s Tomb](https://the-only-edition.com/lizzo-loots-crystal-flute-from-ancient-rulers-tomb/) - Adventuring bard Lizzo charmed her way into the secret archives of the United States of America last week. Guarded by zealous librarians who seek to preserve the history of the empire, She and her party had found a rival sect of historians who were able to lead them into the depths, past a myriad of
- [OPINION: We Should Grab this Gem Floating in Blood](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-we-should-grab-this-gem-floating-in-blood/) - By Aripose Sisgetede, Rogue Assassin. Ever since this adventuring party met in a tavern for a simple job involving goblin bandits, we have been delving into dungeons and blatantly ignoring the super cool gems that are placed in suspicious places, like a pool of blood. However, I would like to propose that now and in
- [OPINION: Tabletop Creators Should Not Use AI-Generated Art (Until It Looks Much Better)](https://the-only-edition.com/opinion-tabletop-creators-should-not-use-ai-generated-art-until-it-looks-much-better/) - With the advent of artwork cobbled together by artificial intelligence, artists have decried the use of digital scrapers that impede upon their body of work, and independent tabletop creators such as myself should absolutely listen to them until the technology gets much better. It’s immediately clear that AI art is an ethical nightmare as tech
- [Critical Role Fans Break GoFundMe Records to Unknit Liam O’Brien’s Eyebrows](https://the-only-edition.com/critical-role-fans-break-gofundme-records-to-unknit-liam-obriens-eyebrows/) - After an especially concerning episode of Critical Role, Liam O’Brien found that his eyebrows were stuck together after frowning in concentration too long. “I was trying to do a lot of things at once. Paying attention to the combat, writing down notes for what my character wants to say, and making sure my hands weren’t
- [Delusional Man Buys Yet Another Bundle of Holding](https://the-only-edition.com/delusional-man-buys-another-bundle-of-holding/) - Sources say Marshall Davis of Springfield, Massachusetts, has bought another Bundle of Holding, simply because it had a system he had heard good things about. “I’ve been hearing about funnel adventures for Dungeon Crawl Classics for years now,” Davis said, as though he were going to run a funnel within the next calendar year. “Also
- [Pan-Christian Council Canonizes The Book of Hanz](https://the-only-edition.com/pan-christian-council-canonizes-the-book-of-hanz/) - In an unprecedented gathering of the various denominations and sects of the Christian faith, the Bible has been expanded to include the Book of Hanz, a third-party guide to running the FATE roleplaying game. Pope Francis gave an elated announcement upon the successful vote. “For years, the Book of Hanz has guided players to better
- [One D&D Promises Job Security for Content Creators](https://the-only-edition.com/one-dd-promises-job-security-for-content-creators/) - With the release of playtest materials for the newest edition of D&D, Wizards of the Coast is ensuring that thousands of content creators will have fuel for their unending grind for the internet’s attention. “We’re well aware of the livelihoods we support by creating new rules and books,” said a WotC spokesperson, “and we believe
- [Solo Ironsworn Player has No One to Blame but Herself](https://the-only-edition.com/solo-ironsworn-player-has-no-one-to-blame-but-herself/) - Elisa Ventur’s recent adventures in the Ironlands have become dire, and its entirely her fault. According to Ventur, she had just been intending to run her Ironsworn through a Troublesome journey from one village to the other, and in just four missed hits, had found herself in the teeth of an enormous wyvern. “It’s really
- [Critical Role Cast in Disarray after Scorching Ray casts Marisha Ray](https://the-only-edition.com/critical-role-cast-in-disarray-after-scorching-ray-casts-marisha-ray/) - Confusion abounded at the table of actual play juggernaut Critical Role when Scorching Ray, the 2nd level spell, took control of the scene and cast Marisha Ray. “I just thought it was time for the tables to turn,” Scorching said after the incident. “I just got so sick of Liam assuming I would be on
- [Hordes of Satanists Descend upon Indianapolis for GenCon](https://the-only-edition.com/hordes-of-satanists-descend-upon-indianapolis-for-gencon/) - Residents of Indianapolis have been asked to stay indoors by law enforcement as thousands of devil-worshippers swarmed into the city Thursday morning. “We have dealt with this plague before,” said Police Chief Randal Taylor, “and we will handle it as we always have: with fear and disgust, hoping it will be over soon.” This year
- [Dungeons & Dragons Movie Poster Follows Long History of Dungeon Masters Ripping Art from Wherever They Can](https://the-only-edition.com/dungeons-dragons-movie-poster-follows-long-history-of-dungeon-masters-ripping-art-from-wherever-they-can/) - Last week at the San Diego Comic Con, eagle-eyed fans noticed that the poster for the trailer of the new Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves movie featured an intellect devourer from the Pathfinder 2nd Edition roleplaying game. Jonathan Goldstein, the director of the film, immediately took to twitter to congratulate fans on spotting the
- [Blades in the Dark Table Rocked by Scandal as GM Reveals He Has More than Three Sentences of Prep Done](https://the-only-edition.com/blades-in-the-dark-table-rocked-by-scandal-as-gm-reveals-he-has-more-than-three-sentences-of-prep-done/) - A small Blades in the Dark group was shocked when their Game Master, Kaiden Anderson, admitted that the explosive session they had just finished was the result of something he had planned a few days ago. “You think you know someone,” said Maisie Anderson, Kaiden’s wife. “You think the GM you’ve had for years, the
- [Alleged D&D Player Doesn't Own 10 Sets of Dice, or Even an Ironic T-Shirt](https://the-only-edition.com/alleged-dd-player-doesnt-own-10-sets-of-dice-or-even-an-ironic-t-shirt/) - Jonas Christenson recently claimed that he played Dungeons & Dragons, despite the fact that he had not shown any signs of his fandom . “Yeah,” he said, to a disbelieving audience, “a friend from high school invited me to a game a few years back, and we’ve done a few short campaigns since then. We
- [NASA's James Webb Telescope Captures Groundbreaking Public Domain Images for Sci-Fi Creators to Use](https://the-only-edition.com/nasas-james-webb-telescope-captures-groundbreaking-public-domain-images-for-sci-fi-creators-to-use/) - A new collection of images captured by the James Webb Space Telescope were released Tuesday by NASA for the express purpose of bolstering the number of public domain space images for self-published sci-fi authors and creators to use. “We are happy to finally release new high-quality astrophotography for the world’s hobbyist publishers,” the agency said.
- [Boris Johnson Steps Aside from DMing Political Intrigue Campaign](https://the-only-edition.com/boris-johnson-steps-aside-from-dming-political-intrigue-campaign/) - Boris Johnson has decided to step aside as Dungeon Master as more and more members of his party have left the game. “It’s hard to see all the cool ideas you had play out on the table, but I get it, I guess. I had hoped for a super cool secession campaign with lots of
- [FATE Points Invoke for only +1 as Economy Worsens](https://the-only-edition.com/fate-points-invoke-for-only-1-as-economy-worsens/) - As cryptocurrencies and other stocks continue to drop, the unthinkable has happened as FATE points have fallen to only a +1 when invoked. Crypto day trader Aaron Poulter says that FATE points were always considered a safe investment. “FATE points have always been stable in comparison to the more volatile coins on the market. You
- [5th Edition Dungeon Master hasn’t used a DC Other Than 15 in Five Years](https://the-only-edition.com/5th-edition-dungeon-master-hasnt-used-a-dc-other-than-15-in-five-years/) - Onlookers were shocked when 5e DM Adam Byrd revealed that they have been setting every skill check at a DC of 15 since they began playing Dungeons and Dragons five years ago. Byrd admitted that they didn’t see anything strange about the decision. “For a little while when I started, I was agonizing over what
- [Man Devastated to Learn that Starter Painting Set Won’t Satisfy Him.](https://the-only-edition.com/man-devastated-to-learn-that-starter-painting-set-wont-satisfy-him/) - Greg Tanner had bought a beginner painting set of Greek warriors, and had only been painting for two hours before he realized that he would not be content with only the six figures before him. “Coming to this realization was not easy, but necessary,” Tanner said. “I knew that I enjoyed Dungeons and Dragons, but
- [Matt Mercer’s Hands Go Flying After His Bracelets Were Improperly Fastened](https://the-only-edition.com/matt-mercers-hands-go-flying-after-his-bracelets-were-improperly-fastened/) - Last night’s Critical Role stream was interrupted when Matt Mercer gesticulated too hard during a particularly vivid description of his familiar, Toby the Crab, throwing his hands onto the table. Mercer quickly apologized to the viewers and other players as he collected his hands and began reattaching them, returning to the one-shot, A Familiar Problem.
- [Stranger Things’ Vecna Unable to Convey the Raw Sexual Charisma of the Original D&D Villain](https://the-only-edition.com/stranger-things-vecna-unable-to-convey-the-raw-sexual-charisma-of-the-original-dd-villain/) - While the fourth season of Stranger Things has many saying the series has returned to form, many fans are disappointed that Vecna isn’t as hot as their Dungeon Masters described. Mark Jacobs has been playing Dungeons and Dragons since the early 90s. “When my DM Reggie introduced Vecna, everyone around the table immediately knew that
- [Austin Walker Begins Planning Next Adventure Zone Campaign](https://the-only-edition.com/austin-walker-begins-planning-next-adventure-zone-campaign/) - Since the announcement that the first season of Ethersea would be ending in a few episodes, Friends at the Table Game Master and The Adventure Zone Head of Research and Development Austin Walker has been working hard on the next installment. While choosing a system may seem straightforward at first, Walker says that picking one
- [Edge Studio in Hot Water after LucasFilm and Disney Discover Star Wars Rulebooks Can Be Bought Digitally](https://the-only-edition.com/edge-studio-in-hot-water-after-lucasfilm-and-disney-discover-star-wars-rulebooks-can-be-bought-digitally/) - Gilles Garnier, head of Edge Studio, announced that they would not be able to continue selling Star Wars Roleplaying books or supplements on the Asmodee webstore. “We were aware that our license did not allow for the sale of PDFs, or any other basic online support commonly found for tabletop games. But I guess it
- [Blades in the Dark GM Finally Knows How to Play after Reading the Book 83 Times](https://the-only-edition.com/blades-in-the-dark-gm-finally-knows-how-to-play-after-reading-the-book-83-times/) - Gabriela Borba happily announced that she finally plays Blades in the Dark properly after reading the rulebook for the 83rd time. “When I first started running the game, I used to have issues understanding basic mechanics like stress and flashbacks, and everyone said I should read the rulebook again. As I got more comfortable with
- [Doctor Tries to Convince FATE Players that Stress Can Damage Your Body](https://the-only-edition.com/doctor-tries-to-teach-fate-players-that-stress-can-damage-your-body/) - Despite numerous studies that show that stress can cause a wide array of health issues, many FATE players are still in denial. Dr. Miguel Jimenez at Johns Hopkins University has started an initiative to spread awareness about the issue. “When talking with a FATE player, one of the first things they’ll say as soon as
- [Paradox Interactive Announces Vampire: the Morb-Parade](https://the-only-edition.com/paradox-interactive-announces-vampire-the-morb-parade/) - Paradox Interactive and Sony Pictures have teamed up to bring Morbius, the Living Vampire, to tabletops everywhere with the latest edition of Vampire, according to a press release last Friday. “From the thirst for blood, the simmering drama, and Jared Leto’s incessant desire to step over the line, the partnership between Morbius and Vampire was
- [High Standards of RPG Players, Furries, Responsible for NFT Market Slump](https://the-only-edition.com/high-standards-of-rpg-players-furries-responsible-for-nft-market-slump/) - Cryptocurrency and NFT advocates blame RPG players and furries on the most recent drop in the markets, saying they expect too much when they spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on art. Marcus Gill has been investing his money in various cryptocurrencies for at least a few months. He says that commissioned artists led consumers
- [Queen Elizabeth Knights Sir Bearington at Platinum Jubilee](https://the-only-edition.com/queen-elizabeth-knights-sir-bearington-at-platinum-jubilee/) - While Queen Elizabeth II was not able to attend the entirety of her Platinum Jubilee celebration, she made sure that she would be able to perform the knighting of one of England’s oldest officers, Mr. Barry Bearington. Per a press release from Buckingham Palace, “Mr. Bearington has been a dedicated servant, living a dangerous life
- [This Article is Just Filler](https://the-only-edition.com/this-article-is-just-filler/) - It doesn't really even have a body. I guess it's really just a headline.
- [This Monster Ate all of the Earlier Headlines](https://the-only-edition.com/how-video-conferences-harde-for-employees-to-collaborate/) - Soon we shall slay it and retrieve the old articles.
- [I'm Here to Announce That There will be more Articles Later](https://the-only-edition.com/covid-19-vaccination-could-hong-kongers-a-million-dollar/) - Listen, there has to be a better way, but frankly I don't know how to do it. Do I look like a chump?
- [Lorem Ipsum's Headline of Establishment](https://the-only-edition.com/the-beat-goes-on-as-giannis-scores-40-points-to-help-milwaukee-advance-after/) - All the Lorem Ipsum I just replaced was about a woman named Lo. I hope she's doing well.
- [Buskin' Don't Pay What it Used To](https://the-only-edition.com/wordpress-resources-at-siteground/) - If I'm being honest, it never paid great, but between the pandemic and these here filler articles, times are tough.
- [Tiamat Promises Rainbow of Hellfire for Pride Month](https://the-only-edition.com/tiamat-promises-rainbow-of-hellfire-for-pride-month/) - Tiamat, the five-headed Dragon Queen, has taken to Pride month with a spectrum of breath weapons, in a press release sent on Wednesday. “As Archdevil of the Nine Hells, I want everyone, from the asexuals in Greyhawk to the trans men in the Forgotten Realms, to be baptized in flame. All are welcome to grovel
- [We're Almost Done. Send Me Home, Doc](https://the-only-edition.com/sometimes-out-of-the-darkest-moments-come-the-boldest-responses/) - This is the second-to-last filler article, and then I'll be free.
- [Opinion: I'll Miss this Filler When It's Gone](https://the-only-edition.com/biden-want-to-send-covid-infected-americans-to-guantanamo-book/) - I couldn't find the meme image in a reliable format, so just imagine its the girl from the meme where she's daydreaming, right before she tearfully draws with crayon.
- [If You Look Right Here, You'll Notice the Filler is Being Replaced by Real Articles](https://the-only-edition.com/big-oil-takes-a-beatingits-investors-are-riding/) - I use headline and article interchangeably because most of you are really only reading that headline, am I right?
- [The Only Edition Relaunches After the Failure of The Only Plus Streaming Service](https://the-only-edition.com/the-only-edition-relaunches-after-the-failure-of-the-only-plus-streaming-service/) - From the Desk of the Editor We here at The Only Corporation are both happy and sad that today has come. Happy that we are able to reopen The Only Edition’s web distribution service. We are sad, because we have been forced to shut down our premiere streaming service, The Only Plus, after only three

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