Court Declares Murderous Paladin Lawfully Stupid

Two weeks of criminal court proceedings against Alyxander Law, the paladin responsible for multiple murders, ended as a judge gave a reduced sentence because of Law’s limited mental capacity. In his statement, the judge said, “Our hearts go out to the family of Firb the goblin merchant, an unnamed henchman tortured to death, and those who were subjected to the sight of his dismembered victims arranged into the shape of the holy symbol of Torm. However, despite the heinous nature of his crimes, Alyxander Law is clearly not fit to be tried as a fully functional member of society, as he clearly has no real idea of what constitutes ‘lawful’ or ‘good’ actions.”

When Law was apprehended by the local constabulary, he was clearly shocked that anyone would take offense to him as he destroyed a church of Lathander. “I’m just doing what my god asks of me!” he said several times as he was led away. However, several eyewitnesses claim they heard a voice from on high sigh and ask several times if Law was sure that he wanted to disembowel the priest and his acolytes. John Tailor, a blacksmith, said, “I’m a follower of Torm too, and I don’t remember anything about ritual vivisection from those sermons.”

The court likely came to their decision as the paladin continuously admitted to each crime, but refused to plead guilty, saying “only God can judge me.” When this prompted the very avatar of Torm to descend into the courtroom to explain very slowly that he would be damned for his actions, Law proceeded to argue for several minutes that Torm didn’t understand his own precepts.

Law will be held in St. Barriltar’s Home for the Infirm. His former adventuring party has reportedly already found a new member to round out their roster: a rogue who is currently attempting to steal from the local soup kitchen.