Biden urges voters to “Hikaru no Go to the Polls”
In an attempt to rally support after a controversial debate, President Biden held a press conference where he made an attempt to cater to the younger voting bloc and asked that they “Hikaru no Go to the polls this November.”
Campaign officials say that the President came up with the slogan when coming across one of his grandchildren’s tankobons. “President Biden is reaching out to younger voters who were born in a time when we weren’t at war with Japan and enjoy its culture. He also wants to emphasize his connection to the ancient game of go, which has stayed relevant despite its age.”
Voters seem to be split on their opinion of Biden’s new strategy. “In theory I should be exactly the kind of voter Biden is talking to now,” said Perry Rutledge, an undecided voter from Michigan. “I also yearn for the simpler days of my youth, when politics were simple, and when I thought reading manga could get me to single-digit kyu rank.” But there are some concerns that hold Rutledge back from deciding his vote. “It just feels like there are two Bidens right now. One seems to have trouble answering basic questions and staying awake, while the other knows how to stay on message and crack wise. I’m not sure if he knows that Toya Akira is a boy.”
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre says that any rumors of Biden’s mental decline are unfounded. “Just a few weeks ago President Biden found his grandfather’s antique chess board, and has been playing games regularly. I’ve even played a few games with him, and while he still makes some rookie mistakes from time to time, I’m often surprised by his ability to make moves of pure genius.” Jean-Pierre refused to speculate whether President Biden would be bringing his grandfather’s chess board to the upcoming Old Lions Tournament against former President Trump.
