Catan publisher Asmodee trying to figure out how the Robber put them €900 million in debt
Settlers of Catan board game publisher Asmodee has been left scratching their heads after the Robber somehow saddled them with over €900 million of debt. “Normally The Robber is content to take a single resource, but his most recent caper has left us with an enormous deficit,” says Asmodee. The newly independent Asmodee has said that they will be looking to expand their licensing deals in order to pay off the debt. “Embracer Group has a lot of intellectual property in their stable, so thankfully we’ll have plenty of fertile ground to till for a small fee.”
The Robber struck just minutes after the wake of the news that media holding corporation Embracer Group announced that it would split into multiple entities, with Asmodee becoming its own company focused on tabletop games. Spokespeople from the now splintered Embracer Group said they were shocked, just shocked, that the Robber would choose an auspicious day such as this to strike. “It’s unfortunate that this bad luck should hit when our other companies have experienced such a windfall. It appears that when the robber reached us, he was inclined to rid us of our debt.” They shook their heads ruefully. “Who can grasp the mind of a criminal who has been operating since the days of the Neanderthal?”
In a rare break of silence, the Robber denied any part in the sudden rearrangement of debt. “This is why we decided to leave society long ago,” their press release said, which was hammered into our doorframe with a rough-shaped nail. “I’ve never needed more than a little grain or lumber to get me by, with the occasional wool when my clothes need mending. The idea that I would have any need or want of money is ridiculous. Tend to your own houses.”
We would have published this article yesterday, but the Robber did not leave the area until early this morning.
