Blades in the Dark party arrested for Grand Theft Auto

Nadia Zomorodi, Naomi Reinhold, Michael Roberts, and Phil Freeman were apprehended by Lexington, Kentucky, authorities Friday evening on multiple counts of burglary and theft, culminating in a high-speed chase through the downtown shopping center. Police have determined that Zomorodi was the ringleader and mastermind of the joy ride. Our own interview confirmed this, as Zomorodi admitted the crime spree was her idea. “Listen, they’re a great group, but they just weren’t really leaning into what makes Blades in the Dark so fun. They were playing extra cautious, trying to make extensive plans before jobs, and generally tiptoeing around Duskwall. Telling them that they should be playing their characters like they were driving a stolen car wasn’t resonating with them, so I figured a hands-on demonstration would work better.”

According to Freeman, Zomorodi wasn’t content with their performance in the real world either. “After we hotwired the car, I was behind the wheel, and Nadia kept saying I was driving too slow. I tried to explain that we were in a stolen vehicle, and speeding would just bring more attention on ourselves, and then she yelled that we had stress to burn, and jammed her foot on the accelerator. I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason we got caught too.”

Zomorodi admitted that her lesson might have gone too far, but is largely unrepentant. “Someone needs to teach these players that it’s not all about being as efficient as possible. Games should be fast and exciting. While I’m not happy that I’ll be serving time, I like to see it as an opportunity. Because everyone’s been so precious about their characters, no one’s been caught by the Bluecoats yet, so this is going to give me my first chance at seeing how incarceration and prison claims work!”