New Service Offers Players for Hire to Lonely GMs
A new website, AndMyAxe.com, will be offering a long sought-after service later this year: players for hire. With a marketplace already dominated by rentable GMs, the website’s creators found it was “surprisingly easy to make money” by renting out much needed players to GMs. We were able to reach several satisfied customers for comment.
“I’ve been dying to try out this homebrew system that’s a mix of D&D with more math and more tables,” said Jared Kolster. “For years I tried subtly hinting that I was working on something, but when I offered to run 5e again, they just said yes without even asking me what it was. With AndMyAxe I’ve found 4 new players who show up on time and have even told me how great my rules were!”
“I’m something of a collector,” Amanda Wiles told us. “I have about 200 RPG Zines on my shelf. Nothing you’ve heard of. It’s just so hard to find players to actually try them out. My copy of ‘Death Kittens Trash World’ hasn’t even been opened. I almost found a group for ‘Clown Prince of Bavaria’, but they dropped out at the last minute when I clarified the name of the book. Now, thanks to the site, I have a table of engaged players for ‘These Ghosts Tell Lies’ who barely groan when I have them roll 2d6 plus Spirit for the hundredth time.”
When we reached Matthew Lake, he had just wrapped up a session. “I can’t believe I wasted all that money on solo-rpgs to tell myself a novel when I could have just been spending the money to tell these people the same novel,” he said. “My regular players were always asking me ‘What is my motivation?’, ‘When can I play?’, or ‘Am I even in this scene?’. Not these new players. It’s so reassuring to hear ‘Mmm-hmm’, ‘That’s right I would do exactly that’, and ‘Amazing session!’”
When we sat down with the creative couple behind this service, Meg and Jesse Fuentes, they told us they were inspired by an old friend to create the application. “Alissa was always bringing it up,” Meg explained. “She’d casually sneak D&D into every conversation without a hint of irony or self reflection. One time she dropped her pen and in one breath managed to get out something like ‘Oops critical fumble, rolled a 1, like in 5e, which I play on the weekends’ and then just left it there expectantly. I think she wanted me to tell her how interesting that was, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not again…” she mused, drifting into a thousand yard stare.
Jesse finished up our conversation from that point on.
“When I saw how desperate Alissa had become to justify the hundreds of dollars she had spent in gaming materials, I realized there was a real market for lonely GMs out there. When we were in alpha I made three LFG posts on reddit and a couple in some obscure RPG discords and it was like a plague of locusts. Desperate, attention-starved locusts.”
We also managed to speak with several of the professional players to get some of their insights into what makes a good paid player in their mind. These were their answers.
“I just agree with everything they are saying, unless they ask what I want to do next, and then I say ‘I’m not sure what my character would do in this situation’, and they tell me. It’s the easiest money I’ve ever made,” said Tiffany Bettis.
“I thought this was a tech support role. I was shocked when I asked what the problem seemed to be and the man told me ‘The border towns hear rumors of a creature stalking the woods.’ Now that I’ve been a player for a while, I’m not shocked to hear that one anymore,” said Kevin Arduinas.
“These are some of the nicest folks you’ll meet,” said Caire Dubious. “Since I retired I felt so cut off from everything. Now I get paid to have a nice young man talk to me for hours at a time. It’s wonderful!”
“I think I have a few years of professional playing left in me,” said Garreth Bevinshire. “After that I’ll just end up screaming at some poor bloke in his basement about how Savage Worlds isn’t the best system for every setting imaginable. It’s 6 dice rolls to resolve a single hit! What the hell is fast, furious or fun about that? Bloody hell!”
AndMyAxe is anticipated to go into full release November 2025, just in time for the holiday season to bring overwhelmingly stark isolation to GMs everywhere.