Best RPG Ever Created Hidden Somewhere in an Itch.io Bundle
Reports have confirmed that the best RPG ever created is currently sitting somewhere in an itch.io charity bundle you bought. It’s not clear if it’s the one you bought a few years ago or just a couple of days ago, but it’s buried in there somewhere. Several sources are aware you downloaded all the big names already, and then clicked through a few more that caught your eye, but you just missed it. This RPG is lovingly crafted, beautifully illustrated, a joy to run, and you will never play it.
Itch.io representatives have pushed back on the claims that this RPG is the greatest product ever sold on their storefront. “While the quality with which this game interweaves story and mechanical elements is completely unmatched, we do not believe it is fair to say that this is the best RPG on itch. It is, however, the perfect game for you. The level of crunch is enough for you to sink your teeth into without getting in the way of whatever you try to do. The rules are simple enough to memorize, but deep enough that you would enjoy the preparatory work just as much as when you actually sit at the table to play. That is, if you were ever going to find it that it, which you will unfortunately not.”
Sources are warning against ever trying to find the game, as searching through the bundle on itch.io may lead to mental stress. Itch.io’s search and navigation systems have been known to cause symptoms ranging from tension headaches to grand mal seizures. If you are unable to be dissuaded, be sure to take screen breaks every fifteen minutes as you read through 300-page heartbreakers and one-page RPGs that use six-stat arrays for some reason.