D20 Wins Relaxing Salt Bath for Rolling So Well

D20, a die used in a weekly D&D 3.5 game, recently won a relaxing weekend at a salt bath for their exemplary performance over the course of the campaign. The die had only last session hit three natural 20s in a row, automatically killing the boss that had been set up over the course of several months of play. “I think my results speak for themselves, but I can’t lie that it feels good to be recognized. But I’m just like any other die. When I’m done at work, I go back to my holder like everyone else, carefully placed so that my 20 face is on top.

Once at the salt bath spa, however, d20 said that the experience was not quite as relaxing as they had hoped for. “I want to make clear that the service by the staff was exemplary at first. I didn’t have to do a thing as they filled the bath with water and salt, and they personally lowered me in. However, the first time I sank all the way to the bottom, and they had to fish me back out to add more salt. When they put me in again, I was floating rather nicely, but for some reason they seemed to think I needed to be massaged when I could have just sat back and enjoyed myself. They kept spinning me around. Each time I would turn back with my 20 face up and tell them I was fine like this, but then they would spin me about again. I will be leaving the establishment a scathing review.”

D20 revealed to us that they’ve heard rumors that the spa treatment is just the beginning of their rewards. “Let’s just say a little bird told me that I might be getting a promotion to Magic health counter. Honestly, it’s what I was made for. I’m already a countdown die. Now I’ll get to have a cushy spot just sitting and I won’t have to worry about wrecking my body before retirement.”