Dread Lord Reveals the Secrets of his Jacked Bod
Dread Lord Valgrith may be known best for the conquest of Belyria, the razing of the Crystalline Libraries, or the murder of Khorzac, god of the dead. But he is also known for his intensely rippling abs and bulging forearms. We spoke with Valgrith in his home gym to discover what makes the Dread Lord tick.
TOE: Have you always been a musclehead?
Actually, I was quite scrawny as a child, so I survived the streets of Lankhmar through wits. It wasn’t until I realized that any of my cronies could take me in one punch that I decided I needed to train my body as much as my mind.
TOE: What would you say is the secret to maintaining a strict workout regimen?
It’s all about knowing what you’re willing to do to manifest your goals. If you want to rule the world, you have to start by sacking a few cities. If you want to ascend to godhood, you have to kill a god. And if you want killer abs like this, you have to do a few crunches.
TOE: What about dietary restrictions?
I’ve actually increased my caloric intake since starting down my fitness journey. The human heart is a tough piece of meat, but once you’ve chewed your way through it it’s incredibly rich in iron and other essential nutrients.
TOE: Some have said you set unrealistic expectations for young conquerors to be. What do you say to that?
I never set out to be an example. I make examples out of those who stand in my way.
TOE: Is there any truth to the accusation that you’ve resorted to the use of performance enhancing magics?
In my younger days, I would have killed you without even answering the question. But times have changed, and its practically impossible to stay competitive without enchantments or buffs. I draw the line at receiving magical boosters from others though. I still believe the only person you can trust is yourself.
In his magnanimity, Valgrith gave our interviewer a swift death.