Man can’t find his Enormous Bag of Cheap Dice
Andrew Neel of Dodge City, Kansas, has been looking everywhere for that big bag of dice he bought on Amazon almost a decade ago. “I could have sworn I packed it in with the board games,” he said, peering into a cupboard without actually moving anything. “Maybe I put it in the closet after we moved?” He had already looked in the closet, but you can never be too careful. Maybe this time he’ll check in the longboxes with his slowly bending comics collection.
Neel has been looking for the dice ever since a few of his coworkers said it “could be fun” if they played a game or two of Dungeons & Dragons. “I actually bought that giant sack of dice for another game that fell through,” Neel says, pushing blankets aside in a chest dresser. “I guess I thought that having that pile of glittering polyhedrals would be just the thing to get us to actually start playing. It didn’t, but it was a nice thought.” Neel has already done a quick glance at the garage, but doesn’t think he would have put it there.
Neel knows that it’s unlikely that he’ll play even a single introductory game with his coworkers, but says it’s a matter of principle at this point that he find the unnecessarily large bag of dice. “I paid twenty bucks for that thing. That’s like twenty-five dollars in today’s money! I can’t let it go to waste.” When he does find it, Neel says he’ll be happy as long as he gets to run his hands through the pile of dice, letting them fall through his fingers like a pirate who’s just found his buried doubloons.