John Harper Pardons the Thanksgiving Weasel
With Thanksgiving just around the corner, Blades in the Dark fans gathered around to watch John Harper pardon one of the weasels meant to be slaughtered for their crimes against narrative-driven gameplay. Harper addressed the sizeable crowd outside of the palatial One Seven Design mansion. “When I heard about what a little weasel this guy had been, I didn’t believe it. How do you fit so much weaseling in such a tiny body, I’ll tell you, I didn’t know whether to be disgusted or impressed. But whatever his crimes, I hereby do pardon Vermy the weasel, and urge him to go forth and weasel no more.”
Officials were careful to choose a weasel with a rather mild rap sheet. “Vermy is a weasel, yes, but we made sure that John would be pardoning a weasel who could be rehabilitated. He just kept trying to use Hunt more than he should have. No, if Vermy had, say, been trying to say he could resist Devil’s Bargains, or use Skirmish to do research in a library because he was ‘throwing the books around,’ he would be a pair of handwarmers already.” Officials say that they are working with Vermy to complete a crash course on figuring out how to do setup actions.
When The Only Edition spoke with Vermy, he says that he’s extremely grateful to John Harper for giving him a second chance. “I never realized how close I was to reaching terminal weaseliness,” the cute little guy said. “I got a big wakeup call when I started to ask my GM if I couldn’t just use Attune for all magic rolls, and he just got this look in his eye. I’m working hard to be the least weasel I can be.” At the time of reporting, no other weasel had been slaughtered because have you seen their little tummies when they roll around?