Uh Oh. Your Least Favorite Coworker Also Plays Dungeons & Dragons

Oh god. Gerry just found out you play Dungeons & Dragons. How did he find out? Apparently you mentioned it last week over lunch to Linda, and now it’s worked its way to goddamned loud-chewer Gerry. Well, it turns out he plays too, and that means you’ve got an hour tops before he comes over to talk about his game.

You realize this is your fault? I know, I know, you were just trying to make a tiny bit of small talk about your weekend plans, and now you’re paying the price. From here on out, it’s only local sports, the weather, and giving a noncommittal “mmm” whenever politics comes up. Do you have your LinkedIn account up to date?

As long as you’re here, it seems like you have two options, bud. You can act like you just got into D&D, or it’s something you’re not crazy about. Anything that might get through Gerry’s skull to tell him you aren’t really interested in talking about it. Well, anything besides directly telling him you’re not interested in talking about it. Since we know that won’t happen, here’s your other option: you can give up your already meager thirty minutes of lunch to the inane chatter of Gerry telling you about the super overpowered build he’s got waiting for his next campaign. You’d think that because he plays fifth edition there’d be only so much water in that well, but believe me, he will drain it dryer than you ever thought possible.

Ope, here he comes. Have fun listening to him tell you about how his bard rolled a nat 20 talking with the king and ended up marrying his daughter! Oh, hey Gerry! No, I gotta go, I was just leaving. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.