WotC Press Release: I’m Sorry You had a Bad Dream!
Whoah, whoah, hey there buddy. You were rolling around and yelling out in your sleep like you were having a nightmare or something. The Open Gaming License? Deauthorization? Revenue cuts? Slow down there, take a deep breath. Let’s just talk it out.
Now, from the sound of it, your dream was about less of a nightmare and more of an overreaction to a corporation taking appropriate and very legal means to ensure their shareholders were going to receive their just compensation as investors. Are you sure you wouldn’t want a new license at some point? Surely you’re a little tired of this one. Your dad and I have been talking, and think it might be fun if we got a new license in a few years. Hey, where did you hear about the Open RPG Creative License? Other systems? Doesn’t learning a new game sound exhausting? It took you a long time to learn all of the rules to D&D. I think that sounds a little extreme to me. Let’s try and keep that sort of talk inside the family, ok?
I can understand why this all might have been scary to you, but the fact is that when you get older you’ll get used to these sorts of things. But you know what, if it will make you feel better, I’ll put your OGL right here for you. Here, we can even give his SRD a little Creative Commons. Does that make you feel better? Think you could go back to sleep yet? Some milk? Sure champ, I can do that. With just a bit of chocolate in it, right? Don’t worry, we don’t have to tell dad. Alright then, I’ll be sure to leave the light on for you in the hallway. We can talk more about this license stuff in the morning.
12 Comments
You are patronising and insulting people. treating your consumers or random people as though their opinions matter so little. you honestly think that you can talk to people like this. It’s disgusting and quite frankly you should be ashamed
It’s satire chillout
You do realize this is satire right? At the expense of WOTC? Did you really think WoTC would publish a press release like this? Lol
I think it’s satirical? Maybe? If it is it is very obtuse in its satire…
Agreed. How patronizing this sounds. It’s disgusting. Fuck you Leif
Such a moronicly insulting dillweed.
Did your daddy tell you he was going down the shop to buy a jug of milk? Wait, that was a while ago wasn’t it, daddy never returned did he?
I think he’s got daddy issues bro, why else would he shill for daddy Hasbro?
The only impressive aspect of your writing is the degree of which you can depict yourself enthusiastically sucking corporate chode, while demonstrating how little you’ve researched the topic you’re purportedly commenting on.
What is this gaslighting piece of shit article. Fuck right off you condescending little shit. Hasbro isn’t owed our money, nor is wotc. And it is insulting you would even suggest it.
What Fuck You says. Long live Paizo. Fuck your bland, racist 5e crap. Play PF2e.
I can’t tell whether people are going along with the joke or genuinely don’t realize this is satire